I had to tell you this right away. Tonight when the 18:05 pulled in to Dimchurch Station I saw a grey cat on the dashboard, sitting among the controls in the driver’s cabin. There was no sign of a human being and at first I thought the train crew must be back in the guards van, fetching things, or running complicated checks. When the cat realized he’d been seen he jumped down and ran across the lines and disappeared. For the life of me I don’t know whether he’d been there a long while or only a few seconds, but I can be sure I saw him snaking along the levers and the switches, and if you ask me that train may have been under feline control for longer than any of us would be comfortable with. I understand that the Japanese call cats like that obake. Pink doesn’t like them and she had to run and hide when I told her the story.